Disclaimer: The opinions expressed herein reflect only the views of the author and do not represent the opinions of the College Democrats at the University of Michigan (UMCD), the Michigan Federation of College Democrats (MFCD), the Michigan Democratic Party (MDP), or the Democratic National Committee (DNC).

+An article reviews the controversy of Ann Arbor’s DPS Oversight Committee. The true controversy came from the fact that there are supposed to be two elected student representatives and until recently, there hadn’t been any in months. The adults of the committee continue to argue technicalities for their reasoning while university students have more reason to think themselves smarter than adults.

+Representative John Dingell spoke at the Ann Arbor Community Center last Thursday speaking about the House’s passage of the health care reform bill. The article discusses the public option, single-payer, the Stupak amendment, and how the Dingell family has been pushing legislation like this for 76 years. The Daily seems to be leaning in Dingell’s favor opinion-wise; this is suspected to be because the staff couldn’t resist how cute John Dingell is.

+Verdict in lawsuit over a labor dispute in a Michigan laboratory is expected today between a supposedly-slacking research assistant who complained he was possibly exposed to radiation and his boss who says he complies with regulations and fired the worker based on other reasons. Statistics show a 100% increase in jury naps after 10 hours of testimony over a decently irrelevant case.

+Front page includes article about what Michigan football can do before facing Ohio State next week so we can attempt a win. Sports writer takes two pages to sum up the phrase “nothing.”

+Cartoon jokes with image of children getting supposedly “sold out” swine flu vaccines for Christmas. Many students get ideas from cartoon and start their Christmas lists early.

+Editorial on 2011 campus-wide smoking ban accuses the university of trying to “regulate the health of individual people, the smokers themselves.” Smokers inquired what the punishment for breaking the smoking ban would be. The university replied with the fact that they would not hand out tickets or fines but they would encourage students to attend workshops. Smokers commented back to these punishments with “pffffffffffffft,” followed by fits of laughter.

+Junior Manny Harris led the Michigan basketball team to a blowout season-opening victory of 97-50 against Northern Michigan. Harris posted a triple-double with 18 points, 13 rebounds, and 10 assists. Students try not to get too excited for the basketball team, drown themselves in football losses instead.

+Students continue to focus on the wrong sports with successes of the cross country team, volleyball team, and championship won by the patting-head-while-rubbing-stomach team.

+Sudoku puzzle remains the most interesting part of the Daily. They seem to have picked up on this fact as there are two different Sudoku puzzles, with an extra one in the sports section.